Rule 4: There is no tomorrow and there is no try!

A non-focused gaze upwards, imagining the desired future
and looking for divine intervention. Can you see what's
missing from this image? Hint: it's action!

Imagine this. You want something very much. You are constantly thinking about it, wishing for it, dreaming it. It's always somewhere there. It is so pleasant to visualize it, yet so frustrating to realize over and over that it's not here yet. Then, out of a clear blue sky, an opportunity arises. It is doable for you. Of course, it takes effort, time and maybe some money. You know that all it takes is to follow the recipe and you will make your dreams come true. But... You don't do it...

Sounds familiar? Have you ever been in situation like that? For some people, this is happening all the time. They dream about a life they could realistically have, yet never take the step to really have it. They don't believe in their self and/or don't want to give up some things they have now and which they are using to compensate for the frustrating part of their dreams. They don't see that they already have all it takes to get there, and that they won't miss the things they must give up, since there will never be the need to resort to them after they will reach their goal.

There is also another type of people. They would try literally anything. The keyword here is: try. They never make it, they are just always trying. They get very excited about something, but soon after that, usually when the first crisis of any kind kicks in, they suddenly decide it doesn't work for them and they give up. Very often, they would blame the circumstances. "The theory was bad." "The environment was not supportive enough." "I had to change my lifestyle so much that I can't hang out with my friends the way I used to." I've heard them all, and I am also guilty of doing some of them myself.

When it comes to achieving big goals, thinking about
starting "tomorrow" is the recipe for failure.

Ever heard of the old pub sign that says "Free beer tomorrow"? The idea is that drinkers will keep coming back day after day, wishing and dreaming about that free beer, but that tomorrow will never come. If you are the first type of person, I advise you to seriously reconsider your usage of the word tomorrow and your concepts of planning for changes. Remember from rule #1? Our subconscious mind wants to make the pictures in our head real. If the picture is a sign that says "whatever tomorrow", our subconscious mind will not trigger any motivation to start doing it now. It will always stay somewhere there, behind things for which we think are worth doing now. Thinking about going on a diet on Monday morning, just after finishing that delicious looking Sunday lunch dessert is a typical example of failing by thinking about tomorrow. If you are that kind of person, I suggest you to stop using the word tomorrow! Erase it from your vocabulary and from your thinking patterns. No matter what you are dreaming about, if you want to realize your dream, this is the thing you should do first! Perhaps it sounds harsh to erase a word from your vocabulary, but I guarantee you that "tomorrow" is a word you won't miss.


If you are the second type of person, the keyword for you is "try". As Homer Simpson once said, trying is the first step to failure. If you think about trying, your are giving yourself permission to fail. Trying implies one attempt only. If it succeeds, yeah! If it doesn't, well, at least you tried. Thinking about "trying" is a mechanism to eliminate the agony of disappointment in case of failure. In reality, there is no try! You either do, or you don't do. Imagine how it would be if you replaced the word "try" with "do". You never say "I'll try", you say "I'll do". Can you feel the difference in energy and responsibility between saying "I try" and "I do"? In the concept of "I do", there is no ultimate failure. There are attempts, which are repeated for as long until success comes. Between each attempt, you also have the opportunity to apply rule #2: learn from your mistakes. Instead of trying once and in case of failing, discarding the whole idea, the concept of doing offers you a win-win outcome. You will either succeed, or learn.

In my 10 years of struggling with weight loss, I've been both types of person. There were the "try" periods, where I would try literally everything. Every time I started something, my motivation was high, but it didn't last very long. The longest period I lasted at something was about 4 months. Even though there usually was some success, I quit and never got back. The problem was that when I quit, instead of learning something out of it, I just blamed the circumstances. I never used the experience of failure to grow as a person. In other times, I was just dreaming, knowing even deeper inside of me that I have no realistic chances of success. If you have been studying the first three rules, you may have noticed that I completely disregarded all three of them. No wonder I was failing miserably for 10 years.

It took over 10 years for me to collect the pieces. I finally saw myself as an eternal dreamer and trier. I knew I had to change the entire concept. I did in the order in which I am publishing the rules. First, I applied rule #1 by realizing that I am responsible for my thoughts. I consistently eliminated all thoughts that would prevent me to succeed. For me, there is no relationship between metabolic syndrome and genetics (which in reality is not 100% true, but I am not leaving myself any room for excuses). I eliminated the importance of messages I received as a child growing up. I also gave up some social activities for the others and I choose to believe that it is a good thing. Then, I applied rule #2, reflecting my past, thinking about the mistakes I have made and analyzed the reasons for failure. I really pushed the hindsight here, since for every failure I was looking for explanation and what I could have or should have known before starting. At the third rule, I thought very deeply about how I want to live my life, what I enjoy doing (and eating). I checked if my desired lifestyle was attainable, which meant again digging into the science stuff and looking for data about the consequences of my desired lifestyle. It took some time, but in the end, I found the recipe. I also realized that I have the best chances of pulling it off by deleting two words from my vocabulary: "tomorrow" and "try".

If you are struggling with weight like I was, look at your past activities through the prism of this rule. Do you happen to be a dreamer and/or a trier? If yes, then you know where to start. I wish you all the motivation you need for success!