Rule 3: Set BEHAVIORAL goals

Path's difficulty is determined by the way how goal is
formulated.

After you have decided to take responsibility for your beliefs (rule 1) and as a first measure, decided that it's OK to make mistakes if you learn from them (rule 2), it's time to move from mental measures to behavioral ones. Some of my followers pointed out to me that the first two rules didn't mean anything specific in terms of what one should actually do to make sure his weight loss story is a successful one. However, I believe that one should go into things with correct mental attitude, as any weight loss program is likely to demand long-lasting behavioral changes which are difficult to realize with old beliefs. Besides, there's 10 more rules to follow which will talk about behavior a lot, starting with rule number 3: Set BEHAVIORAL goals.

Naturally, any plan requires goals and the 'if' and the 'how' are pretty much determined at the moment when a goal is set. Set it in the right way and your prognosis will be much better. Rule 3 is all about how to set goals in the right way, which gives you maximum possibilities of success.

Is setting goals important? Why?

Rule 3 is about how you can reach into your
subconscious mind through your conscious
mind which is at your full control.

I get asked this question very often when I coach my clients. Then answer is simple: YES! It is VERY
important. If you agree with me straight away, you may skip the rest of this section and move to the next one. But just in case you don't, this section presents arguments. By setting a goal in the right way, you make an alliance with your subconscious mind. Since your subconscious mind controls your motivation and consequently your behavior, that's an incredibly useful alliance.

Think about how marketing works. Some people think that the point of marketing is to tell you about a product. That couldn't be more far away from the real point, which is to make you go to the store and buy that product. Psychologically, marketing is about motivating you to do certain behavior (purchase a product), which is most desired by the makers of that product. The marketing industry is incredibly good at this and all they do is they produce very simple, yet very powerful images associated with their product. The images are so simple and fueled with emotions that they do not require any logical processing of the conscious mind, but they travel straight to the subconscious mind, which immediately wants to make this picture come true. There is your source of motivation! And if the marketing guys can get to it, you can get to it yourself too, simply by setting a goal in the right way. That is by setting simple, short-term behavioral goals.

What is a goal anyway?

Goals are expressed as positive statements. "I am going to write a book." is a statement which may be considered as a goal, but I hope that after reading this post, you will realize that it's not a particularly well set goal. Opposing a very common belief, not every positive statement is a good goal. There is more to it than that. "I will eat something for lunch" is not a goal, it is just a low-quality statement. "I will wear something nice for the dinner" again is not a goal, as it is not clear what "nice" is. Apparently, in order for a statement to become a goal, there are 5 criteria which have to be met:

When setting goals, S.M.A.R.T.
criteria are the key!

1. statement has to be specific;
2. statement has to be measurable;
3. statement has to be attainable;
4. statement has to be relevant to you;
5. statement has to be placed in time;

If a statement meets the above 5 criteria (also known as the S.M.A.R.T. criteria), it is in fact a good goal and is as such capable of creating simple and powerful images which travel directly into your subconscious mind and give you plenty of desire to make it happen.

Let's analyze the following example. "I'll spend some time in the gym this afternoon." is only a statement. It is not very specific, the measure is not defined as both "5 minutes" and "3 hours" can be characterized as "some time" and there is no emotional potential which would indicate relevancy. A much better goal would be something like: "Today at 5pm, I'll be at the gym and I'll do the full blow-out on that cool stamina program I was given by my trainer." That meets all the S.M.A.R.T. criteria, the image in your mind is clear and it is loaded with motivation, especially if you actually like doing stamina programs.

Just remember this: a goal is a statement where all the S.M.A.R.T. criteria are met.

Why I think non-behavioral goals are not OK

An example of a result-oriented goal. Avoid such goals
and increase your chances of success.

In order to understand what behavioral goals are, look first at what they are not. Let's suppose that a guy (which could just as well be a girl) has just heard about a really cool diet which sheds, on average, one kilogram of weight per week. That guy starts thinking: "I have 100kg now, so next week I'll be 99. In a month, I'll be 96 and in about 5 months, I'll be 80kg, just as I want to be, and that will end my diet. Therefore, I am going on a diet for 5 months, my goal is to loose 1kg a week and if I manage so, I'll be happy. If I loose more, I'll be even happier." There is also one more extra sentence that this guy doesn't say to himself. This sentence is: "But if I loose less, I will be frustrated." And he should say it to himself because it is the bare naked truth.

Let's admit it: we've all done something like that at least once. Not only dietary plans, but also studying plans, savings plans and many others are made that way. But do they actually work? Sometimes yes, but in my experience, chances are slim. The problem of such statements is that they sound very reasonable and realistic, but when you want to control your motivation, reason and realism are not nearly as important as being specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and placed in time. And the statement from the last example isn't such, although it may sound like it. That's because the image that our guy is producing very clearly defines only 30 seconds of his time per week. That's the time when he stands on a scale showing a particular number which corresponds to the day on the calendar placed in the background of the image. 30 seconds per week is all the time that his subconscious mind knows exactly what to do, as he has a clear plan.

But what about the remaining 6 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 30 seconds? According to his goal, he will simply "follow the diet". That doesn't meet the S.M.A.R.T. criteria! His conscious mind may have a plan, but his poor simple subconscious mind (which really makes the behavioral decisions!) has no clue what exactly to do. To it, it is just some foggy "follow the diet" rule and an occasional stepping up on a scale. For his subconscious mind, his weight loss journey is a just race against time, having plenty of checkpoints and now knowing very well what to do between them.

Setting a non-behavioral goal, even if it matches the S.M.A.R.T. criteria puts you into a very uncertain emotional position. During the week, our guy will  be "following the diet" as much as his motivation will allow him to and in front of his eyes there will always be this great number at the end of the week. That's where all the focus will be. When the day will come, he will either be happy or frustrated, depending on how well the number on the scale will match his goal. Happiness is OK, as it prolongs motivation and making it easy for him to continue "following the diet", but on the other hand, frustration kills motivation. What if one week won't go well? Then, he will think of it as loosing his race, believing that now he has to make up for it. And what if another week won't go as planned? Even more weight to loose and time to make up. 6 weeks, 23 minutes and 30 seconds a week of "following the diet", and then 30 seconds a week of emotional gamble? He can't do it. Not for 5 months he can't. No one can, without paying a huge price in terms of overall quality of life and risking a huge yo-yo effect.

So what is a BEHAVIORAL goal then?

Behavioral goals are basically items on a to do list.

As the name suggests, behavioral goals focus on behavior, not on results of that behavior. The logic behind is
simple. If your behavior is right, results will follow. Therefore, instead of focusing on results (and clogging your subconscious mind with such images), rather focus on behavior. A goal should tell you what will you DO in the next time frame. And it's best to make the time frames short. One day is a good time frame.

All dieters expect results in the same way: loose X kilograms in Y days. They all believe that they will achieve that result by following a particular diet. As I have said many times: all diets work, if you are able to follow them. So, instead of focusing on the final result, rule 3 says you should focus on your behavior. How exactly are you going to follow your diet TODAY?

The answer depends on the diet, so for the purpose of another example, let's assume LCHF diet, which gives the following guidelines: "eat when you are hungry, eat until you feel satiated, stay below 20 grams of carbohydrates per day, limit your proteins to 150 grams and take 80% of calories from fats". Now, as an example, let's set behavioral goals for one day. They would look like something like:

• for breakfast, I will have two eggs with 30 grams of bacon and 30 grams of butter (that's a bit over 80% of fat and almost no carbs);
• for lunch, I will go to the nearby cafeteria and have a portion of steak with bearnise sauce and a side-dish of salad with 5 tablespoons of oil;
• for dinner, I'll have half of avocado and a can of mackerel;
• since I don't have mackerel nor avocado, I will stop at the supermarket on my way from work;

There you go, these are examples of behavioral goals for one day. Make goals like that in the morning and you will send into your subconscious mind clear and powerful images. And because they meet the S.M.A.R.T. criteria, you subconscious mind will reward you with motivation - a real genuine desire to do so.

Please note that above goals are just examples. Not every day it should be like this and if you want to follow a different diet, goals may be a lot different. I put them simply as examples. Especially the relevance part is very subjective. It may be relevant for me, but it's OK if it's not relevant to you. The point is that you should pick a diet that you believe in and which allows you to set S.M.A.R.T. behavioral goals every day. This strategy gives you the highest possibly of following your diet on a long term and avoiding the yo-yo effect. It keeps your motivation high and following the diet easy.

When losing way and also when you want to achieve other big things in your life, pick a strategy and then set short-term S.M.A.R.T. behavioral goals to maximize your motivation and with it, your chances of success!